Why Kids Misbehave and What To Do About It
By Karen Alonge

As promised, here is the first of several articles inspired by the Back-To-School teleclass I attended with Dr. Bryan Post and Heather Forbes from Beyond Consequences Institute (BCI).

In the interest of full disclosure, I must tell you that I’ve already absorbed and integrated this material into my own internal database, so it may well be that I have diluted or contorted their message. Pop on over to their website: www.beyondconsequences.com for the purest dose of their profoundly transformational wisdom. Needless to say, I am a huge fan of their work!

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Parents and professionals alike often operate under the mistaken assumption that misbehavior is a power play or control tactic by the child. BCI proposes a re-assessment of the roots of oppositional defiance: some children, whether due to trauma in their early life or temperamental disposition, perceive new situations as threats, and the fight or flight response kicks in.

Once that adrenaline rush occurs, the child is in survival mode, and higher functions stop; higher functions such as thinking about consequences and redirecting aggressive impulses into verbal communication. Generation upon generation of evolution (or a magnificent Creator, if you wish!) designed humans so that when we are fighting or running for our lives, all non-essential body and mind functions shut down to funnel every ounce of available energy to our muscles and heart. The thinking brain takes the back seat on this ride. Basically, the child becomes like a caged animal fighting for its life. Anything goes. He or she may appear frantic and defensive, and things can get ugly fast.