4. Develop a special song or phrase for each of your children. My second child, for example, has always adored the song "You are my sunshine," but part of the song defines the relationship in terms of exclusivity. ("You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.") So we had to adapt it for each of the other children. To do this, we substituted a special word for each child and that has become their own special song. My son is Moonshine and my older daughter is Starshine. (In case you are wondering, Mom is Heartshine and Dad is SuperHeroshine. No kidding.) Even as they get older, they love to hear their own special song and they love to sing the songs to one another, too.

5. Use repetitive phrases to teach important life lessons. With my oldest child, we are working to help her feel a sense of control over her own emotions. Whenever something comes up, we say these words repeatedly: "You can not choose what people do, but you can choose how you react to it." I have heard her say it now, too, to her younger siblings. Choose an important lesson that you want to pass on. Then figure out an easy way to say it, and say it often. You might even want to make it a little melody.

6. Carve out "one on one" time with each child. Try to come up with a shared activity that honors what each of you enjoy. My daughter loves to go on a date to Starbucks, just the two of us, for a shared Double Chocolate Chip Frappucino. The other likes to go to the library where we each choose special books. The other likes to ride his tricycle up and down the neighborhood streets with me running alongside. This does not have to take a lot of time and can involve an activity that you would be doing anyway. You can even decide to allow one child to go to bed a bit later each week so you have some time alone to chat, read together, or play a game of cards.