7. Create a safe environment. It has been really important for us to make the kids know it is safe to make mistakes. As someone who has battled perfectionism in the past, I know that the unconditional acceptance of a family is vital. When your home is a safe place for your children to share their mistakes and perceived failures as well as their triumphs, you foster a sense of safety and acceptance. You might want to share times in your own life when you made a mistake (or even those times when a perceived mistake was actually a blessing.) And try to pay close attention to an overemphasis on criticizing or correcting your child, as well as to an overemphasis of criticizing things that other people do.

8. Engage your children in the tasks of the household. This fosters a sense of belongingness and personal responsibility, a mutual respect and a sense of teamwork. There are jobs that children of all ages can do. Maybe it is setting the table or passing out the napkins. My three year old son likes to help me sweep the floor, but I suspect he really just likes to play broom hockey with the crumbs. At some point, they grow up enough where their efforts to help are actually helpful. One child likes to help me make dinner, another likes to help me clean up. We are still working on my son.

9. Make simple occasions special. The kids love it when we turn off all the lights at dinner and eat by candlelight. It makes them feel treasured, and we talk about how just a simple change in the way we do things can make all the difference.